And I want cheesecake. 

End of rant. 

I just got an email from my personal trainer asking me and my fellow gym rat/boss/favorite ginger to write her a testimonial on her website. Here’s what I would write:

“After waiting for weeks for a meeting with ‘T’ we finally got to see her for a whopping ten minutes, after which she decided a personal fitness assessment was not necessary. During said meeting we established that we could only commit to a 3 day per week workout - one hour per session. A couple weeks later (after T picked up and moved 10 hours away) we were sent our first two week program. 3 weeks later, after a week of begging, we were sent out second-fourth week program (still no one on one session that was included in our fee). Three weeks later, after more begging, we received another program that only one of us could commit to because it went from a 3 day/week to a 5-6 day/week program. Eventually we gave up on her and she stopped emailing us. I took over our program. Overall, we have been completely dissatisfied with her ‘services’ and would not recommend her to anyone else.”

Seriously, are you fucking brain dead?